Waiting For Rain
by LadyGreatSkullZero
Summary: Muse Fic, BellDom: Finding his mind dulled by the monotonous routine of day-to-day life, Matt instinctively starts searching for something more. Now, he must put up a facade and try to keep Chris and Dom out of his heart's newfound habits... and desires.


RIGHT! Here I go; putting up my Muse fic! I highly doubt many BellDom fans are out here on ... But HEY why not let his rot online instead up in My Documents?? =D

I add to this story whenever I have time... Which isn't often as my profile states! However, I'm always open to anything and everything you may have to say! Expect guaranteed replies for reviews or messages you send me otherwise =]  
**Disclaimer:** This fanfiction contains entirely fictional events of the three real-life band-members of MUSE

**Important! : **Slash warning! Yaoi warning! Shounen-ai warning! Explicit warning! _MANSEX warning!_ ((you get me?? xD))

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_This isn't the first time I have felt like this, you know: lost in the rumbling, thundering turmoil of day-to-day living. I can't seem to find what to do with myself and I haven't been able to for quite a while now. I'm not the kind of person who is easy to read; I keep a thick egocentric brick wall between me and everyone else, and what I'm really feeling never shows through – I usually just cover up the signs by acting the total opposite (which has become a habit, I believe) and more often than not: with a good drink (and I admit at a low point not too long ago, drugs were thrown in there somewhere). _

_Basically, I'm bored. Bored with where my life is… Up until last month, I used to count the seconds as they ticked past and it was something so simple that it kept my mind busy, which is what I wanted – then and now – and I continued for weeks on end past the point of obsession. What made me stop was my own sickness: I was so distracted I forgot to eat most of the time and I never felt me digesting myself from the inside [thinking back on it maybe it was some kind of sub-conscious self-punishment?]… My mates ran me into hospital after I didn't wake up from a regular afternoon siesta and I haven't looked at a clock since._

_I need something – anything – to snap me away from the mundane routines of life. I do have times where I am whisked away; when I'm on stage and pouring the restless, hot swirling of my very soul into the minds of countless crazed fans and avid music-lovers. I realize now, though: it isn't enough. Nothing seems to be. Not even the supposed universal-drive behind all human actions: love; I had it around two months ago, just before I lost myself to time [sounds a bit poetic that does] and it had been with me for a good few years, which were some of the best I have ever had… But this boredom spread everywhere like some kind of cancer and that part of my life withered and died because of it. I did feel regret for a while but I can't even find solace in that anymore._

_One thing that has never changed, and that I know never will, are the two who have been with me through the worst life could ever chuck at us. I've probably given them the bloody hardest times of their lives but the two pillocks always forgive… And they always forget… And they have always stayed themselves. They have never lost who they are – unlike me – and I admire them for that [though I'm pretty fucking envious] because it shows how strong they are. I would fall to my knees and plead for totalitarianism if those two asked me to. People like them are one in a thousand-hundred-trillion-trillion [etcetera etcetera]… And I know I probably have no hope of getting myself back from wherever I am… But I can at least pretend I'm still me – for them. I can at least pretend that I am still… Matthew James Bellamy._

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"Ayup!" Chris calls loudly over from the shining rim of a large barbecue grill he prods at tentatively, sleeves rolled up over his elbows "How many of these pork chops are you two wanting?"

Under the bright glare of the sun, Matt's skin takes on a pale glow that radiates angrily against his black T-shirt and trousers; however complimenting the dark shadow his brow casts over his eyes, squinting helplessly in what he presumes is Chris' direction "Er… Three if that's alright, mate," he replies, sitting up from the warm grass and propping himself up lazily on his elbows. Looking around, he smiles contentedly at the vast expanse of crisp green that surrounds him, Chris and Dom; fully enjoying the isolation from the rest of the world and wallowing in the childish thought of just the three of them seemingly being the only people for miles around… or in the Universe… No one else…

"Hang on," Chris interrupts, pulling Matt out of his reverie "where's Dom?" When Matt glances around then shakes his head, Chris frowns and pulls the lid down over the barbecue "Wasn't he with you just now?"

"Nope," Matt answers, too comfortable down in the soft caress of warm dry grass "He went to that tree over there a while ago; said he was gonna take a piss… Didn't think it was worth a public announcement-"

"Cut the bollocks, Matt," Striding over, Chris' long gait brings him over to Matt quickly, his looming frame suddenly cutting the sun out of the sky "If that was a while ago he would have been done by now…" he pauses and looks down at the cosy looking (and much smaller) man who shifts irritably from the sudden cessation but otherwise stares back blankly.

"Aren't you going to get up off your arse and help me look for him?" Chris asks finally, annoyance clear in his voice.

Matt raises an eyebrow quizzically.

Chris' eyes narrow and he grunts agitatedly before turning and striding down towards the large tree standing tall at the edge of the field.

Watching him stomp away, Matt smiles and flops sluggishly back onto the spongy ground, sun once again sprinkling over his skin. He breathes in deeply, content for one of the first times in a while and eventually his mind begins to ebb away as he teeters on the brink of sleep.

~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~

"Enjoy your catnap, Bells?"

Matt jerks awake and tumbles forward, crashing into Dom and hits the ground hard.

"Bloody hell," Dom groans, obviously caught in the tumble. He mutters something quietly then shouts angrily "What the fuck did you do that for!?"

Still reeling from being wrenched so forcefully out of his sleep, Matt blinks away the haze from his eyes and mumbles "Wh… What?" Confused, he shakes his head; the words that woke him so suddenly from his sleep echo and buzz in his mind like persistent insects, knocking against the sides of his skull.

The two are sprawled on top of each other in a clumsy array of arms and legs, and the sudden jolt caused Matt to headbutt Dom in the face. His lips are split and his mouth is a steadily reddening bloody mess.

Dom growls irately, shoves Matt off and sways slightly as he gets to his feet. Still disorientated, Matt stares up at him and frowns when he notices the thin lines of blood trickling down his friend's chin and onto his pink top. Turning onto his side, he rises to his knees "Oh God, Dom, you awright?" he asks, flinching from the sight, feeling more concern than he usually would.

The drummer glares down at him with renewed rage, wiping the blood on the back of his hand and ignoring the subsiding numbness of his mouth "Do I look alright!?" he yells, wincing as pain sears through his skin "You headbutted me in the fucking face, Matt!"

Blood suddenly starts pumping out of the messy wound. Horrified and sickened but not wanting it to show, Dom clutches at his jaw and whirls around then stomps off with unsteady steps towards the lower part of the field where the bonnet of the car they came in glares harshly at him in the sunlight.

Suddenly filled with guilt he wouldn't have normally felt with such an incident, Matt scrabbles to his feet and jogs after Dom, glancing back briefly at the barbecue and the smoky tendrils rising timidly into a cool breeze. He catches up quickly and turns to face him, about to apologize profusely, but his words suddenly catch in his throat.

"… What!?" Dom snarls, cheeks flushing hotly.

Matt raises his hands in a preemptive gesture of the way he habitually goes about talking but only stutters, words nowhere to be found _Why can't I say anything…_ He thinks to himself, head whirling in confusion.

Taking offence from Matt's quizzical visage and seemingly forced idiocy, Dom lets out an exasperated sigh and shakes his head "What's wrong with you?" he grumbles spitefully and steps around him, leaving Matt frozen in a puzzled stance.

Those waking words throb in Matt's mind as if being repeated over and over. He slowly turns around and watches Dom walk briskly out of sight. _What the bloody hell just happened?_ After a moment of further contemplation, he pushes everything that had just transpired aside – as he usually does – then turns on his heel and jogs over to the barbecue, Dom's voice itching at the back of his mind. The thoughts of going after his injured friend or looking for Chris for help if the wound turns out to be serious do not even cross his mind – a more common occurrence as of late.

Lifting the lid, the luscious delectable scent of perfectly cooked pork wafts over him and he feels his stomach rumble greedily in anticipation; he hasn't eaten properly for a long time and the promise is almost overwhelming. He breathes in the captivating smell hungrily (temporarily overriding the itching of his brain) and hovers over the barbecue fork with a hesitant hand. However, he quickly snaps the lid shut with heavy reluctance and spins around, determined to share this day with his friends.

As if on cue, Chris comes jogging up from down the field. He doesn't spot Matt immediately as he is texting on his mobile, but he eventually notices the slight frame leaning illicitly toward the barbecue. When he reaches him, concern is marked clear on the bassist's face "What's up, Matt? I saw Dom on the way back walking through the field across from this one. Couldn't tell since he was too far off but he seemed pretty upset or something..."

Swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously, Matt waits for the bassist to continue, guilt wallowing up inside him.

Chris pauses briefly, reading Matt like a book (as is his specialty) then continues "I tried going up to him but he just said he'd be with us in a few minutes and jogged off... Something happen, Matt?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Matt replies "He did come back but there was a bit of an incident…" he licks his lips wondering if he should mention his obscure loss for words.

Leaning slightly closer, Chris' eyes bore straight into Matt's.

Quickly, Matt puts on his usual peculiar visage; rapid speech and exaggerated gestures in an attempt to cover up any signs of him not being himself "I fell asleep after you bounded off then Dom suddenly yelled in my ear so I jump awake, smashing him in the face by accident –"

Rolling his eyes, obviously noticing this change in Matt's character, Chris sighs and glances around briefly.

"– which split his lip open," Matt continues, and then chooses his words carefully "and he ran off towards the car." After a moments pause, he adds quickly "weren't my fault or anything; he just kind of lost the plot."

"Okay, Matt." Chris says calmly "I'll go find him while you put the sausages on, okay?" He turns and walks away at a steady pace, allowing no time for Matt to argue. He sighs lengthily, running his hands through his hair and then turns tend to the barbecue.

With his long stride, Chris is soon at the car and knowing that Dom has the key to it, he peers in the slightly tinted window and sees the 'faf bag' the drummer never parts ways with (except leaving it in the car) has been taken from the back seat. Frowning with growing concern, Chris thinks where in the world he could have gone – especially with a split lip – and then it came to him: the lake a short way down the road. He starts back to Matt, thinking of telling him and bringing him along but anxious about the extent of Dom's injury, he quickly spins on his heel and jogs down the road.

As it peaks in the sky overhead, the sun glares brilliantly over the lake's surface; although it would be a more picturesque scene if the water wasn't murky brown. Chris veers left off the road and slows as he reaches Dom crouched over the lake, cleaning the blood from his face with the latest in a series of tissues he's pulled out of his bag. Despite his efforts, droplets of scarlet red still drop into the water, reddening his reflection.

"Dom, you alright?" Chris asks, kneeling down next to his friend "Let me take a look…" He pulls Dom's head to face him who puts up no resistance; fatigued from the drain of blood. Chris examines his lip carefully – almost fatherly in his actions, leaving Dom feeling like a clumsy child – and his eyebrows meet in a worried frown "We should get you to a hospital; you can't just wipe this up: it's quite a deep cut."

The two stand, Dom holding his weary silence, and Chris hefts him half on to his shoulder (scooping up the bag from the ground) and walks him back towards the car.

When they arrive, Chris gently lays Dom across the backseat – the loss of blood dizzying and tiring him significantly – and quickly retrieves Matt and the barbecue.

As Chris packs the barbecue (allowed to cool obviously) in the boot of the car, Matt squirms uneasily in the front seat, frequently glancing back at Dom who is awake but occasionally closes his eyes. Eventually, he whirls around, catching Dom's gaze and stutters "Jesus, Dom, I am so sorry. I really didn't mean to and… I'm really sorry for ruining the day but –"

"Matt," Dom barks and then pauses, staring at him stonily "what is up with you?"

The question seems completely alien to Matt, who blinks stupidly in response "What… What do you mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Dom half sits-up "Why are you acting so weird? Usually you'd just fuck about and pretend it's no big deal or even somehow make it look like my fault!" he tilts his head to the side as if trying to work out a nonsensical puzzle "You haven't been yourself all day."

Before Matt can reply – which would have only been another series of stutters and perplexed looks – Chris drops into the driver's seat heavily, shuts the door and turns to Dom "Get back down, mate. We need to leave now." He glances at Matt before clicking in his seatbelt and starting the car and gives a short reassuring smile.

Although not voicing his gratitude for the gesture, Matt welcomes it and responds likewise. He looks down at his hands as the car rumbles to life and jerks to a steadily increasing speed. _What is up with me? _He repeats the question in his mind _… Yeah, what _is_ up with me?_

~~~~~~~~ * ~~~~~~~~

Dom sits on the edge of the hospital bed swinging his legs to and fro like child at the doctor's waiting for a lollipop. He has a drip in his arm and is dressed in a very airy hospital gown which he feels flatters his backside substantially; flashing it at any nurse who was fortunate enough to have him on their patient list. Smiling at the thought, he looks around, bored, knowing he should be trying to sleep and his restless gaze often fixes on Chris and Matt slumped in two chairs next to his bed – both of them completely out of it: Chris snoring throatily and Matt breathing softly although ghostly shadows of despondency shift and break his usually peaceful visage.

A pang of stinging melancholy ripples from Dom's heart as he is reminded of his friend's strange behavior and how he thinks it could be related to the incidents that happened a few months ago: the isolation, time counting, losing his girlfriend, being rushed to hospital… Dom sighs deeply and stares down at the floor: Matt was in a severe state at that point and he – and Chris – feared for his life. Everything seemed normal again after he recovered and dropped his obsession and now he just hopes Matt's peculiar conduct is not a warning of problems resurfacing.

Focusing his eyes, Dom realizes he had inadvertently been gazing at Matt during his reverie; although this time, he was drawn to the seemingly delicate and breakable rise and fall of Matt's small chest, feeling his own rhythm match his. His fingers twitch as he pulls his eyes away and stares at the wall opposite. _What… Was that?_ He asks himself very well knowing he hasn't the slightest clue.

Figuring it's something to do with the various pills he has had to take, Dom shimmies up the bed, swearing vulgarly as he is jerked back painfully by the blood bag his drip is attached to. Grumbling, he reaches over and wheels the stand the blood bag is hanging from up with him then settles under the cool covers, rubbing tenderly at his arm where it was pulled. He glances at Chris before lying back and his eyes linger over Matt a moment too long, causing him to shake his head and flop down to the pillow hard.

Just as Dom begins to lull on the brink of sleep, he feels a hand touch his shoulder. Suddenly hit by immense fatigue, he opens one eye lazily and recognizes Matt through the blurred haze.

"You feeling awright?" Matt asks, smiling slightly; not concerned in the slightest only guilty for having been the cause of this.

Dom nods, raises his arms to his clammy forehead and massages a stirring headache.

Smile fading, Matt feels his stomach knot and his mouth dry as he musters up the apology he's been rehearsing "Erm… I'm really… Er…" His hands swirl in the air as he grabs at swift-flying words and curses silently, frustrated that he can't carry out a scenario already played out in his head.

"Sorry?" Dom offers, raising an eyebrow; not grasping why an apology is apparently a difficult endeavor for his friend.

Matt's shoulders slump and his hands drop to his sides "Fuck it Dom: I'm really sorry. I don't have a fucking clue why this is so bloody hard for me to say!" his voice pitches in exasperation "It's not even that bad!" he pauses and thinks for a moment, then continues, adding in his usual gestures "You know, compared to the other times I've landed you in hospital. I guess 'cause it's been a while since then –"

"Seriously Matt," Dom interrupts with a forceful but soft tone "I think you've had a whole lot on your plate recently, so I'm only a little surprised you're blowing this all out of proportion." He smiles broadly, dimples hollowing sweetly in the low hospital light "Not to mention I was a bit of a pussy. Should have sucked it up and not acted like such a big girl's blouse."

Obviously relieved, Matt's shoulders relax and his muscles release from the tension they had had built up over the past few hours as he sits on the edge of the bed. He grins and rubs his nose childishly "Well…" he speaks in a quiet voice "You _were_ a bit of a pussy. But thing is…" he looks straight into Dom's eyes with mock-earnestness and puts his hands over his heart in a loving gesture "You will always be _my_ big girl's blouse." He finishes, batting his eyelids cynically.

Keeping a stone-stern face (only the smallest of smiles tugs at the corners of his lips) Dom raises the middle-finger and then laughs, cheerful at the old Matt shining through once more: an occurrence he hopes will become more frequent.

Matt gives the drummer a playful shove before spinning round and slumping back in his chair, smiling as broadly as his friend: this was just like normal and it was perfect. Why did he want to shut this away? He curses himself spitefully and vows never to let his mind run away with him again.

Both he and Dom snicker, muffling their laughter as Chris' head rolls heavily to the side and drool gobs down his chin accompanied with a series of disgruntled snorts and grunts. The two – caught up in the immense relief of having a sliver of normality spark once more – look at each other and burst into fits of giggles; not really laughing at anything: just being friends again after too long a time apart.


End file.
